Tussling with Daddy

Craziness at bedtime taken to a whole new level, courtesy of the Forshey family.

Busy day!

We've been cooking today!! Lemon, lime and orange curd, cookies and scone mixes (bought form the local teashop) for Christmas presents for friends, family and neighbors. Sofi is the best kitchen helper ever!!

Sad things....

I saw a little baby in the checkout line at Walmart last night with his teen-aged, probably un-wed mother and pretty tipsy, probably grandparents. The grandfather was feeding him a bottle while stumbling around the aisles, paying scant attention to the fact that baby was frantically sucking on air as the bottle wasn't tipped enough to get milk to the nipple. He almost dropped him several times as he shifted him from arm to arm. The language used between grownups-- to each other and to baby-- was harsh and unloving at best, foul at worst. I had to stand in line for 20 mins in front of these people (stupid Walmart lines...but that's another topic) and it about killed me. It was the closest I think I've ever come to snatching someone else's baby and running. I had to call Jeremiah in the parking lot and just check in on my own babies.... *tears*

I just heard bad news about a friend of ours from church. She was in our home group several years ago and we've kept up a Sunday-morning-conversation-in-church acquaintance since then. She apparently collapsed in homegroup meeting last night, not breathing, un-responsive. They took her to emergency and my source had no further news at the time. She has four kids-- the oldest in second grade, the youngest not yet two. I just saw her in church this past Sunday!

Christmas is a joyful time of year, for the most part. But as our pastor reminded us this week-- the shadow of the cross hangs over the manger and it was our sin that made it necessary. The Lord has blessed our family immeasurably and it is especially obvious this year as we celebrate Judah's first Christmas with us, but I have to remind myself that we are not in heaven yet and there is so much we must do to reach out to those whose lives may be much less insulated against the cold of a fallen world than ours is.

Lord, don't let me get too comfortable.

Lillian Lane Carpenter

Yay! She's finally here! And starting a new trend for the Carpenters by coming exactly on time!! She's beginning life in the top 1% (or thereabouts) by being born on her due date and starting out labor with Laura's water breaking (9:30 Thursday morning) before any ctx to give a warning. Labor was fast and easy and she graced the early morning with her presence at 2:02 Friday, Dec 14th. Congrats to Laura and Myers!!!! Isn't she beautiful?



Sofi's in love, too :)

Teeth!!

So, yesterday Judah woke up from his nap with his first tooth! And then this morning he woke up with his second tooth! Talk about multitasking... He's been miserable today, so I"m halfway expecting him to wake up tomorrow with another one :) He's growing up sooo fast... *sniff* He's barely a baby anymore. Well, okay, that's a slight exaggeration, but the days sure do speed by. He'll be seven months old in just a little while now. I really need to post some new pics, don't I? well, guess what, I'm waaay ahead of you on that. Here they are!!!


Judah's new hat. Also known as his hair substitute....



"Helping" with the laundry



Playing games with Daddy and big sister, Sofi

Clarifying...

I feel the need to respond to some comments on my blog about miscarriages. I think perhaps people have misunderstood my point in the original post. I am not judging those who are not deeply scarred by their own miscarriages. This post is not addressed to you particularly-- except in your contact with other women. I am also not judging those who find it difficult to understand or share in our grief. I simply intended to remind you to apply the same grace to women grieving miscarriages that you would to those who have lost children already born-- an emotion you may also not be able to fully share in. Especially to those of us in the unique situation of infertility plus miscarriage, where the loss of a child is intensified by the years (in some cases) of longing, prayer and effort that goes into those few short weeks of bliss.

The "double-standard" I referred to was not based on feeling that people didn't understand, or empathize properly, but rather that they expected me to "get over it". They "encouraged" me in a "oh well, better luck next time" kind of way, rather than validating my motherhood over this child. They were uncomfortable talking about my baby, or hearing the details of what happened. There are very few people in whose presence I feel comfortable referring to "my four children."

I don't mean to lay down a "harsh judgment" of my fellow believers, but rather to admonish (and perhaps enlighten) you regarding your attitude towards mothers of miscarried babies. Be careful, be sensitive, be kind. Ask questions, listen to what we have to say. Be ready to ask us if it was a boy or girl, what we named our baby, how long we were in labor--all the questions you would ask any other mother. Not every mom is going to want or need to go into this kind of detail, but some of us do! For some it's a part of the healing process-- and on behalf of all my suffering sisters, I want to say it can be a perfectly normal part of the process. Not morbid, not faithless, not obsessive, not extreme or narcissistic. It's not a universal part of the process, but one that we, as Christians who claim that God "knit me together in my mother's womb", ought to be prepared to deal kindly with.

And the 2007 'Making My Life Easier" Award goes to...

.... the KidCo Pea Pod Travel Bed! Why in the world was this not around when Sofi was a baby? I ask you! It is a wonderful concept, a sort of tent/bed/pack-n-play. It is approximately the same size and weight as my diaper bag when folded and big enough for Sofi to crawl into when unfolded. It has an inflatable mattress that slips into a pocket under the tent floor and light-blocking flaps that button down for sleeping, or up for play. The cool thing about it that makes it different from a traditional pack-n-play is that it provides a complete sleep environment. That is, a sleep resistant child no longer has "new environment" and "fun things to look at" as an excuse for not sleeping! I plan to use it a lot during our travels over the holidays. I've been conditioning him to it and he's sleeping in it great, so naptimes at Grammy's house should be a snap, since, as far as he knows, he's still in his own bedroom at home. Of course, I've yet to thoroughly test my theories on my sleep resistant son, but today he did take a 2 1/2 hour nap in it!! *shock*

I'll post pics of him in it as soon as I get my camera back. Yes. I left it with Sandy again....

My "Little" Man

Indignant Protest

I'm writing tonight to vent a little about what I see as a double standard in Christian circles that has caused pain to myself and some of my very good friends-- and plenty of women I know nothing about, I am sure.

So here's my beef; do we truly believe that "life begins at conception"? I know that in general Evangelical Christians 'talk the talk', but how many of you really 'walk the walk' in the lives of your sisters suffering from infertility and miscarriage? If you really believe that an unborn child at six weeks gestation is a living human being, endowed by God with all the aspects of the child carried to term and born into the world, then how can you not extend the same grace to the grieving mother of the one that you do to the mother of the other?

Now I don't pretend that all women feel the same way about their losses. Some women, blessed with fertile wombs and many children may possibly not know of their loss until it is past and may experience nothing more than a passing regret. But please, don't expect that the women who have prayed and hoped and wept and pleaded before the Lord for years for a child, will miscarry and then be back in church singing hymns with a joyful heart in a month.

So what exactly are we asking for? A little respect, I suppose you could say. An acknowledgment that our grief is just as genuine as the bereaved mother of the six-month-old, and may be just as long-lasting. An acknowledgment of the existence, the humanity, the legitimacy of our children that have died. I want to be able to state, without fear of ridicule or odd looks, that I have four children-- two here on earth, and two in heaven with the Lord--two that I will meet for the first time when I meet my Saviour. I want people to stop expecting bereaved mothers to be "normal" since it was "only a miscarriage, after all". I want my friends who are still walking in the newness of their grief to feel perfectly safe in expressing that grief. It is a child, not a biological accident, right? So that makes us mommies. Please be kind....

Is that so much to ask?

Judah eats a pickle....