Monday, April 30, 2012

Happy/Sad

Jamie is weaned now, I think. It's been three whole days, preceded by a gradual shortening and spreading out and more interest in picking my nose than actually nursing. And I am happy/sad.

Happy because now I can finally maybe lose those pesky last few pounds that, contrary to promise, do NOT simply melt off due to my on-demand nursing schedule. Happy because it means I can buy a few new tops that will not be stretched like a hula hoop at the hem. Happy because it means there will be fewer and fewer and gradually none of those incidents of a sudden desire for the boob leading to a toddler-shirt-grabbing-flashing-the-old-gentleman-passing-by in the Costco aisle. True story. Happy because I can look forward to snuggles that don't involve wrinkled shirt tails, stretched out bras, tiny fingers up my nose and in my ears and mouth, a crick in my neck and repeated tyrannical demands for "Whaaa WIIIIIYED???" ("other side") (true story, again. for some reason he thinks it tastes better if we play musical boobs...)

Sad because... oh well, for all the reasons mothers have forever felt bittersweet about weaning their babies. Sad because they're growing up too fast. Sad because it's the first small step towards me needing him more than he needs me. Sad because he asks, and then is distracted... but asks again and must be distracted again and something in me wonders, "is it ok? is this the right time? does he still need me?" Sad because I will miss the sweet, sweaty body of him snuggled up to me and the limp abandon of complete trust and complete contentment-- every need met, every wish fulfilled in that moment.

His body is lengthening and hardening and losing so much of the soft rounded edges of pregnancy and infancy. I remember it happened to Judah, too. And now when I look at Jude, I see a short, solemn-eyed young man, a foreshadowing of the man he will be. I'm not sure I'm ready to look in Jamie's eyes and see Man James looking back. I'm not ready for shoulder blades and biceps and rolled eyes.

But it's outside of my control now. Once they're weaned time goes on speeding up infinitely. No more moments of eternity spent gazing into the eyes of my nursing babe. No more enforced contemplation... It's out of the rocking chair and onto the roller-coaster, mama. It's not meant to be forever.

But in my heart, forever I will cherish the sight of three pairs of bright blue eyes, looking up at me, head cocked, mouth full. I"ll always remember my nursing babes...





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Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Just Writing about my life

Our small group at church is taking Dave Ramsey's FPU class this semester and this question was asked last night:

"If money were no issue, what would you go and do? How would you spend your life differently?"

And I thought (and said) money has always been tight for us, but we've always made do and I really don't think I would do much of anything different. I have had, in my 33 short (comparatively speaking) years, a very full and rich life. Perhaps I might travel to more distant and exotic lands, if we had the money, but other than that...? I have owned two businesses and spent five years learning the art of midwifery. I've had plenty of time to sew, craft, and paint. I've designed the interiors of two houses that I love. I've landscaped and gardened. I've spent hours writing down all the best stories of our lives, and briefly wrote reviews of other people's writings that were actually published. I've taught, sung and acted, cooked for my family and many others', homeschooled my children and briefly dabbled in jams and jellies. I birthed four three babies of my own and have thoroughly enjoyed the first almost-ten years of motherhood. I've had the glorious title of Helpmeet for the man of my dreams for eleven years.

What more could I possibly want? I can't think of anything...

I love my job!






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Friday, April 13, 2012

And then it was done!

One gorgeous picnic table (benches yet to come) made of re-claimed pallets (from beside the road) found wood and ligustrum we cut down in the side yard. Total cost: about $4 worth of nails. And a busted finger.


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In the background, you can see the fence J made for my herb garden out of more ligustrum twigs and branches from the trees we cut beside the house...

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Thursday, April 12, 2012

Pretty much the two cutest things in the whole world


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That's Judah circa 2009 and Jamie this year.

Easter Sunday

So basically, the only thing I took pictures of was the egg hunt. Specifically the part where we finally turned everyone (even the adults) loose to find the confetti eggs. If you've never celebrated Easter with confetti eggs, well then... you just really have never lived!


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Monday, April 9, 2012

Makin' a table for Mama: What happened next...

The next day, Jamie got in on the action...

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About 35 seconds after I took that picture, THIS happened!!

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Luckily, a trip to the ER was not required and the nail seems to be healing nicely. Lesson learned: don't try to grab the chisel while Daddy is hammering!

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Decorating for Easter

Oh! The fun I had! Thank you, Darcee, for bringing me your lovely yard full of lovely things to play with!! My house was full of FLOWERS again!!




Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Yes sir, Yes sir, 20 bags full...



The back yard is now leaf and stick free.


Er. Mostly.


And, you know, for now...

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Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Makin' a table for Mama

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I'll be sure to post a picture of the finished project...