Thursday, January 27, 2011


If there's blood, you jis need regalur potion. If there's KILLED you need MAGIC potion.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

There's a reason I first started to go grey while I was carying him...

It was a beautiful morning today-- the kind of January morning that makes me very glad to live in Florida. We finished our morning subjects early and took off for the park before lunch. The kids played and ran around, explored the edges of the lake and ate a snack.

We came home just in time for Jamie's nap. He went down easily and I fixed the kids a yummy, healthy lunch of peanut-butter apples and hardboiled eggs (or, as Judah so endearingly calls them; "eggs-that-you-hold-in-you-hand"). Since they were sitting angelically at the table, scarfing down their healthy lunches and Jamie was contentedly sleeping, I felt that it would be safe to walk the twenty-five feet out the door to take a load of laundry to the washers.

(in case you can't see where I'm going with this..)


I walked back inside to the sound of a screeeeeam of rage from Judah, a subsequent wail from Jamie and the sight of hard-boiled egg (the kind you can hold in you hand) spewed All. Over. The.





As in, Judah chased Sofi all over the house, spitting chewed-up hard-boiled egg (the kind you can hold in your hand, or, apparently, spit all over your sister) at her, while she egged him on (if you will pardon the pun) with shouts of outraged dignity. All in the not-even-five minutes it takes me to load up two washers.

I vacuumed the kitchen, living room, dining room, hallway and couch. Vacuumed, I fear, to no avail, as the whole egg-spitting-tag-game had involved all kinds of grinding egg yolks into the carpet. Picture with me for a moment what that's going to smell like in, oh....say, five days?

And that's why we now have an official Rule in our house:

You may NOT spit food (of any kind) at your sister. FOR ANY REASON.

Also, I had no IDEA one egg could cover so much surface area! There's an interesting 8th grade math problem for ya...

Also, I have no idea how it all got started. I told them not to tell me. I'd rather not know.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

The Long-Anticipated Season Premiere of.....

In the double-episode premiere of the latest season...

Rookie Jamie throws two-season veteran, Mom, a curveball...


Mom, staggered, but recovering, quickly responds with a week-long moratorium on leaving-the-house-ever-again, thus establishing an iron-clad napping schedule.

"NO, we're not going to the library even if we do have books over a month over-due! JAMIE NEEDS A NAP!"

But with typical rookie ingenuity, Jamie counters with 3:30AM Party in the Crib, leaving Mom sleep-deprived and too confused to actively enforce an 8:00 morning nap!

(cue disco music coming from the confetti festooned crib)

With collateral damage involving Sofi's math lessons and Judah's storytime, as well as regular meals, any conversation above a whisper and all recreational activiy...

(cut to Mom hovering outside Jamie's bedroom door for hours on end while Sofi and Judah huddle in the corner calling in pitiful whispers for their lunch)

...the suspense builds! Will the so-far-undefeated Mom cave? What will Jamie think of next? Will anyone ever sleep again???!!!

Tune in next week and every Sunday afternoon for...


Thursday, January 20, 2011

Mama said there'd be days like this...

This morning the kids all woke up before 7:00. James was woken at 5:45 by J's alarm. Judah woke Sofi because his pull-up had leaked and his bed was wet.

Jamie fell asleep in the car on the way home from grocery shopping.

While nursing him back to sleep for his nap, I hear BLOODCURDLING screams from the dining room.


(which is Judah's usual way of informing the WHOLE WORLD of his displeasure (and no, we don't "let" him do that)

The screaming went on long enough that I eventually set Jamie down in my bed and ran out to, what I was sure I would find to be, bloodcarnagechaosdisaster. But nooooooooooooo.

Instead I find Judah, staring at his reflection in the mirror while screaming, real tears running down his face, "Noooo one will puh-puh-puh-PUHlaaaaaaaaaay wiv meeeeeeee!!!"


By the time I get back to James, he's fallen asleep. To wake and feed, or not? I leave him to sleep, fingers crossed that the three minutes of nursing will hold him over for at least an hour nap.

Ten minutes ago I heard Jamie waking up from his nap too-too early, indignant that he wasn't fully fed, and walked in to find that he had thrown up on my bed, rolled his head over and threw up again.

I moved him to a clean spot, but he's definitely not going back to sleep. I will write my thoughtful, intellectual, meaningful post later.

Like, maybe in about ten years.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Today's Public Service Announcment (eta)

Earlier today I took Jamie in for his first well-child visit. I tend to avoid those, for the most part, but I had an issue to discuss with the dr this time.

When Judah was a baby, a lac consultant told me he had a "slight tongue-tie, a tight lip and a high palette", but didn't think it was "worth doing anything about" because "he'll eventually grow out of it". I struggled to nurse him for 13 mths. I nursed Sofi for 18 mths with no problem at all. With Judah I had TONS of troubles and even resorted to using a nipple shield for several months.

When Jamie first nursed, I suspected we were up against the same thing, but this time I wanted it to be different. I asked my midwife repeatedly about tongue-tie. She wasn't concerned. Jamie choked, spluttered, gagged and spit-up his way through nearly four months of nursing and this morning I FINALLY got someone to look at his tongue.

"Oh yeah," says the dr, a super-nice beefy guy, who just spent five minutes cooing over James and tickling him and baby-talking at him, "Look at that. I can snip that for you, if you want."


Snip. Yell. Bleed. Nuuuuuurse.


BE YOUR CHILD'S ADVOCATE. If you think something's wrong, get a second or a third opinion! Don't assume the doctor/midwife/ lac consult is right and you're wrong, just because they have more letters after their name.

READ READ READ. Bring the articles and studies to your doc. Get a second opinion. Then get a third opinion. Ask questions, demand answers. BE ANNOYING, if you have to. Don't be afraid to ask your doctor WHY? or WHY NOT? THEY WORK FOR YOU.

A three second "operation" could have saved me MONTHS of pain and hassle while breastfeeding Judah-- could have extended our breastfeeding past the one year mark, could have prevented speech therapy (still not entirely sure we'll need that, yet). And the last four months of breastfeeding James could have been SO much easier if I'd insisted that someone look at it before now. MY OWN RESEARCH and an article in the AAP Journal sent me to a doc who would listen and the difference in Jamie's nursing is... wow.

Don't be intimidated by other moms who pooh-pooh your concern, either. You know your child best, not them. It's not "coddling" to find out a possible solution. You don't always have to "just tough it out". Sometimes, yes, but you won't know till you ask!


ETA: I forgot to mention that when talking to even our seemingly-knowledgable-about-the-issue ped, he firmly told me that tongue-tie does NOT affect speech in later life--- a statement ENTIRELY contradictory to the article I just read in HIS OWN JOURNAL (The American Association of Pediatrics Journal). I cannot stress enough how important it is to SELF-EDUCATE.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Poop Monolouges

I'm AM hurryin' up. I'M not slow, my POOP is slow. Poop is soooo slow. Poop is jis like elaphints.


Did you know poop is made outta elaphints?


Yep, it is. Because... because, elaphints is slow and poop is slow. They is da same. Thas why poop floats around sooo sloow, jis like elaphints swimmin' aroun' in dere. So elaphints an poop is da same sing, so poop is made outta elaphints.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Confusing the issue

"Judah, I want you to go to your room, get your jammies and bring them here to me. "

*running around aimlessly, bouncing off walls and generally displaying his exhaustion*

"Judah! What did Mommy say!?"

"I don't remember.."

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

"Judah, now stand still right here. Listen to me. Go. To. Your. Room. Get. Jammies. Bring. Them. To. Me. Now tell me what I just said."


"Mama why you keep forgettin' what you telled me?"


Wednesday, January 5, 2011

(almost) Pain Free

On Monday, I went barefoot all day for the first time in five years. And I felt GREAT.

Yesterday I spent three hours grocery shopping, in flat sneakers, with all three kids, and when I came home I felt GREAT.

Five years ago I went to see a physical therapist with crippling pain in my hips and low back. And when I say crippling, I mean that on several occasions I would lie down to rest in the afternoons with a dull ache and be unable to stand upright when I went to get up a few minutes later. A couple of times I had slide out of bed to the floor and crawl from my room to a low stool or chair in the living room to pull myself upright-- our bed was too high for me to reach the top to boost myself up. Many, many times my hips would bring me to tears in the evenings after a day of chasing toddler Sofi around.

The physical therapist helped me immeasurably, and also diagnosed a short leg-- my left leg is 3/4 of an inch shorter than my right. (*pause for Laurie B. to laugh hysterically*). She got me back on my feet and I wore orthotics for the next five years. Every day. Every pair of shoes. I never went barefoot for more than a couple hours-- hip pain sending me running for my orthotics every time. Exercise was key. Even a week of no exercise would send me into a spiral of worsening tension and pain.

Fast-forward to this past year. Pregnant, moving across country, highly emotional first few months. No exercise. I really didn't exercise AT ALL in the second trimester. Swimming helped keep things fairly flexible and loose in the last trimester. But after pushing out a ten-pound-plus baby, all hell broke loose in my joints and muscles. Back pain, knee pain, pinched nerve, bruised rib. I felt like I was walking around in the body of a seventy-year-old woman-- no offense to seventy-year-old women!

And then my mom gave me this book for Christmas. The difference is drastic. Miraculous, almost. I'm serious here. Anyone who's suffered chronic back pain will understand when I say that I crawled around on the floor playing trains with Judah yesterday for an HOUR and felt great afterwards.

So that's my testimonial. It's taking me SO LONG to get this written that I want to stop here for now and publish. I'll write again and tell a little bit more about what this method is all about and how it's working...

Saturday, January 1, 2011

2010: The Year of Jamie

2010 has not been a fun year. It's been a year of loss, death, grief, confusion, financial worries, broken cars, physical discomfort and spiritual struggles.

On the flip side, sometime during the first two weeks of Jan, 2010, we found out that Jamie was on his way.


This month marks the end of a year with our sweet surprise. So I will, in faith, lay this year to rest in my memory as The Year of Jamie. He is, in a way, a little symbolic of all the many other things that shook up our cozy little world this year-- unexpected, yet welcomed; painful in his advent, but bringing great joy.


Here is a taste of his sweet spirit; playing a game I've played with each of the kids starting while they're still in utero:

James Oliver Forshey, who made you?

Mama loves you, and Daddy loves you, Sofi loves you, and Judah loves you...