In case any of you haven't noticed, Sofi is growing up. Now this obviously is something that I've been dealing with for some time now, but lately things seem to have accelerated. The big thing I've noticed this week that has me (I confess it reluctantly) freaking out a little bit is the whole dropping off thing. At some point this past six months, our lives stopped revolving around the parent's activities (with kids participating as they are able) and started whirling (revolving is too tame a word) around Sofi's activities. She has ballet, Homeschool Co-op, homeschool itself, play dates with friends, birthday parties of friends, Valentine's Day Parties, tea parties, etc. And I'm starting to Drop Her Off at some of these events. That's a big deal. I'm sorry, but I'm one of those obsessive parents who likes to keep my children within yelling distance at all times. It's only been in the last year that she's had a babysitter other than my siblings and one young woman we've known since she was in grade school. Dropping Off is a big deal. She got invited to a sleepover last week, but I drew the line there (well, we both did). No way was I going to Drop Her Off and then not see her again till the next day! What if she needed me? Who was going to read her a bedtime story if Daddy wasn't there? Who would tuck her in and kiss her and tell her that if she is loud enough to wake Judah, she has to babysit him till morning?
I do realize that at some point Dropping Off will be the norm and actually staying to watch over her would be "Moo-oom, I'm fine!" I'm just not sure I'm ready for that yet. I'm not sure if I ever will be. It runs in our family, that's for sure. I think Dad would be happier if he were still "supervising" all of his kid's "play dates" to this day! Mom is less clingy, though, so maybe there's hope for me yet. And considering that it took Sofi 36 hours to decide to initially leave the womb, she might not be too eager to gain her full Dropping Off independence for a while yet.
The scary thing to think about is the day that the ultimate Dropping Off occurs. When I have to sit quietly and watch as Jeremiah Drops Her Off for the last time, placing her hand into the hand of the (please, God!) Godly, strong, kind (handsome would be nice) young man who will take our places to nurture and care for her all the rest of her days. I will have to sit on my hands and resist the urge to try and tell her about all the pain and joy and sorrow and depth that her life as a wife and mother holds for her-- the urge to try and somehow protect her from all that, to prepare her for it.
And I know I'll be fine. Because the truth is, the day God gave her to us, we gave her back to Him and I know that He will always be there beside her. No matter what the situation, He never drops His children off.