So far this morning I have swept the floor four times.
1) The usual after-breakfast sweep-up,
2) Millions of tiny styrofoam balls scattered in a trail from the basement, up the stairs, back down the stairs, into the kitchen, across the living room floor and aaaaall over the rug in the school room where I sent them to watch Wild Kratts while I swept up the million styrofoam balls.
3) Globs of dried mud and, let's be honest, probably also dog poop, stomped out of the cleats of their rain boots WHILE I yelled at them from the yard to take the boots off BEFORE they stomped into the house.
4) Handfuls of dried up playdough fragments, scattered carelessly across the dining room rug, again WHILE I yelled at him to go get the dust pan and not to try and carry the whole mess to the kitchen in one hand.
5) (oh yeah, five times. I've swept the floor five times since breakfast) A trail of hard boiled egg yolk crumbs, flung from the lunch plate as he waltzed it to the kitchen sink, arms waving "gracefully" along the way.
Don't wrestle with the dog.
DON"T wrestle with the dog.
Don't WRESTLE with the DOG, she will BITE you if you get her so wound UP.
DON"T WRESTLE WITH THE....
See? I told you. Don't wrestle with anything that has bigger teeth than you do. Excellent life principle.
The same child who sprinkled the playdough crumbs all over the dining room rug, dumped the leftover handful into the kitchen trash can without checking to make sure the trash BAG was securely fastened over the edge of the can. It wasn't. All the play dough landed ON TOP of the crumpled-at-the-bottom trash bag.
DON"T WRESTLE WITH THE DOG. ONE OF THESE DAYS SHE IS GOING TO BITE YOUR FACE OFF.
Me: Where in the world is Jamie??
Me: *wandering all over the house looking for missing child*
Me: *yelling out all the doors and windows for missing child*
Me: *texting neighbors, asking if missing child is at their house*
Me: *sending older brother to find missing child and drag him home*
Found child, five minutes later: I"m hungry. Can I go over to the twin's house now?
DO NOT WHISTLE WHILE I AM YELLING AT YOU AND TUG OF WAR IS THE EXACT SAME THING AS WRESTLING
I'm not even going to wrap this up with anything positive and affirming. We all know there are plenty of days like this in parenting. Probably more than any of us want to admit. The miracle is, by God's grace and with a sense of humor (and a blog) we keep on, regardless. I will probably have to ask my boys' forgiveness several more times before the end of the day and maybe we'll all get a laugh out of it one day.