My children force me to tell the truth

Last night we had our first dinner guests over. I carefully planned out the whole day so that I could greet our guests at the door; showered, dressed, coiffed and make-up-ed, with yummy smells wafting from my spotless kitchen, through my spotless house and onto my spotless front porch.

What! What?? Why are you looking at me like that??!! It's a new town, new friends! I wanted to make a good impression. What can I say? I dream big.

Disaster 1) The avocados I purchased for my famous home-made guacamole were over-ripe and quickly turned that sickish brown-green of an over-ripe avocado exposed to the air.

Disaster 2-- 17)

Jeremiah was home late from work and rushed off immediately upon returning home to buy the beer, chips and cilantro that I had forgotten to get earlier in the day.

Jamie pooped the Incredible Poop ten minutes before they arrived, greeting the guests naked on the couch, while I rushed around frantically trying to catch up from the fifteen minutes clothes-change-and-mop-up-delay.

Judah, while "showing" his weapons to the guests, had a fit when the Mrs offered to take his sword to check it out and angrily jerked it out of her hand, leading to awkward remonstrations about "sharing".

Judah invited the innocent, child-less Mr to play "sor-fight wid meee?" Judah is not yet mature enough to moderate his blows for Play. Bruised shins and shocked noises for the guest.

Jamie gets the hiccups while sitting in his bouncy chair and fusses till he's picked up and patted/bounced/walked to get rid of them.

Judah lies down on Jamie, now back in his bouncy chair, until he cries. Judah is scolded, Jamie is consoled.

Judah dumps his taco on the floor.

Judah drinks Sofi's water.

Judah declines to eat anything but taco chips. Daddy informs him of his lack of options in this regard.

Judah and Sofi fight over the bag of taco chips resulting in taco chip crumbs all over the living room carpet.

Children are sent to their room to "play".

Judah pees in his bed.

Judah realizes that he has peed on his B (his lovey blanket that he has never slept a night without in his LIFE before)

PANIC

Daddy and Mommy realize that it is 7:15, there is no credit left on the laundry card, the office (where we re-credit the card) is closed, and the machines that take quarters are all the way on the other side of the complex.

BUT

The B MUST be washed and dried before Judah will sleep.

Jamie, now ten minutes past his usual bedtime, melts down.

The curtain mercifully falls on Daddy heading out the door to the laundromat, Mommy rushing the crying Jamie off to bed and Sofi sweetly and helpfully reading Judah a book to keep him from "sor-fightin'" the guests, who are clearing the table....

*sigh*

Well, at least they know we're NOT perfect.