The First Thanksgiving (...cue theme from Psycho..)

The main thing I'm thankful for today is next Thanksgiving.


This year our family ditched us for the holiday and this is how our day went at home (and did I mention that this is the first year I've ever cooked a turkey?)

2:00 AM Sofi wakes crying that her ears hurt and her throat hurts and she can't sleep.

2:30 AM Jeremiah gets home from "guys night"

5:45 AM Judah wakes, coughing, refuses to go back to bed.

6:30 AM after three trips into the kid's room to soothe Judah, I give in to reality and get up with him. Feed him half a banana. Have two cups of strong tea.

7:30 AM Sofi gets up, crying about her ears. Eats some toast. Listens to Redwall.

Note theme of militant, fierce mouse.

Judah bounces off the walls in accompaniment.



(video actually from earlier in the week, but adequately represents the situation)

I discover that the frozen turkey I bought yesterday is supposed to thaw in the fridge-- for 3 to 6 DAYS. (remember, first time ever to make a turkey...) I take out some aggression and frustration on the kitchen door.


(just kidding, we're scraping it to paint it this weekend, but it came in handy)

8:00 AM Not to worry. There is an emergency protocol that involves soaking the carcass in cold water for several hours. Apparently there are lots of people who don't read directions beFORE they begin a project.



10:00 AM We wake Jeremiah up so he can take the kids for a bit so I can make our sleeping-in-late-brunch. He begins working on cleaning the stove on the back porch. I drink two cups of coffee (do not judge me for my excessive caffeine consumption--there is a time and a place to caffeinate and this, my friends, was It)

11:30 AM I treat Sofi's ears with Faith's magic onion trick. She cries, but perseveres.





12:00 The kids go down for naps. I finally finish washing breakfast dishes in one half of the sink while the turkey is soaking in the other half. Drying dishes are piled high all across the counter.

2:00 The turkey is finally thawed and ready for the oven. We decided that since we haven't heard back from our family, none of them will be coming at all. I put the thirteen pound turkey into the oven. Thirteen pounds. Thirteen pounds of turkey-- two adults, two children. You do the math. We gonna be eatin' lotsa turkey 'round here...

2:30 Praise God, I finally get a shower and out of my pajamas!

3:00-- 5:30 Frantically cooking, drying hair, applying makeup, treating Sofi's ears a second time and as if that weren't enough, as if to add insult to injury...

A MOUSE RUNS RIGHT ACROSS MY FOOT AND UNDER THE STOVE!

I did, of course, scream and jump across the room nearly giving a heart attack to J-- who assumed from the magnitude of my reaction that at the very least one of the children had burst into flames. But after six solid hours of Redwall, can you blame me?

5:15 The turkey is ready,

I slap on a little mascara and some concealer. (the pics are gonna be on the internets for the whole world to see, folks, cut me a little slack here)

5:40 After fending off the starving kids with raisins, cheese and bits of bread for over an hour:



we finally sat down to eat.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmm...........




And later that night, after the kids were in bed and we'd gotten outside the better part of a bottle of Chiraz, we had brownies and ice cream for desert. I forgot to get a picture, but it tasted like this:




Not that we don't have a lot of things to be thankful for. I'll get to that. I'm just indulging in a little Humor Therapy.