Friday, July 2, 2010

My Moving Tips (even though no one asked)

Do not throw an "accident" outfit into a plastic bag and toss it in the trunk of the car, assuming you'll launder it at the first stop on the trip. You will not. You will forget it's there, uncovering it four days later, now morphed into an ammonia-reeking ball of molding fabric. The smell will nearly take your life, leaving your children mother-less and your husband a widower. It's totally not worth it.

Do not assume that just because your husband's car broke down this morning, your car is safe for at least a couple days. Apparently 20 minutes is sufficient for Karma to re-set. Also do not assume that, just because you had it in to the dealership two days ago, that same car can't possibly have actually just died on you in the middle of in-town traffic.

Don't assume that since your car broke down once already, and the mechanics assured you that it was merely a "sensor problem", it won't happen again. And again. And again. And then once more.

Out of town car repairs are expensive.

Trading in a busted Honda Civic for a larger vehicle is expensive.

New timing chains for Toyota pick-ups are expensive, despite the slightly trailer-trash ambiance.

Do not expect toddlers to sleep on the road.

Ever.

Not even after midnight.

Be thankful he's in the other vehicle.

Never underestimate the gastrointestinal effect of irregular meals and too much fast food on said toddler. Underestimate, as in "not put on a diaper at naptime". Even if he never wears a diaper at naptime any more.

Never, ever say "well, shucks, I was kinda hoping some of this stuff would actually break in the move so I would have an excuse to throw it out and replace it with something nice". The very next box will contain a treasured wedding present, shattered to bits. Take my word for it.

40 boxes of books is insane. Impressive, and a good conversation starter, and even possibly helpful in labeling yourself part of the "In Crowd" in a roomful of academics...yes. Sane? No.

Next time, buy matching book cases.

If your husband agrees to sell the old couch, which isn't worth the price of the space in the U-Haul truck, and replace it when you get there with something nicer; don't assume he actually heard the second part of that sentence.


too be continued...



3 comments:

Jenny said...

Oh man...I'm laughing...and the adventure is just beginning;)

Christina said...

Very Funny, and things I will take to heart. So I guess I should get the replacement a "new couch" or something else in writing before the move.
Glad to hear that you have arrived safely, even though I know it took a lot of effort to get through it.

Herb of Grace said...

Yes, Christina. In writing. And make him SIGN it. And add a clause about you getting to decide where in the living room it goes-- regardless of electrical outlet placement!