Since I'm FB free for Lent, would y'all click on over and comment here, instead of leaving your comments on the auto-post on Facebook? Pretty please?
I want to start off by thanking all of you for commenting on my last post about Babywise. It did my heart good to see a bunch of women, who may or may not all have the same opinion of this highly controversial book, all voicing those opinions with grace, composure and politeness. I'll tell you what, there's not enough of that on the internet today, that's for sure.
Secondly, I want to point out that I know the children of a majority of the women who are commenting and all of them, while sinners like all of us, are for the most part agreeable, pleasant, obedient, intelligent and well-adjusted. They are not whiny, clingy, needy and over-sensitive; nor are they cold, joyless and insecure. Therefore, I have to conclude that the issue that we're all discussing is What Worked For Me, and not What Is Right, in any moral sense. I strongly disagree with Mr Ezzo's claim that a particular feeding pattern produces more sinful children in any way.
So, having said that, I have to say also, Babywise is not working for us. I tell you, I was definitely at the point of trying anything to get James sleeping through the night. He was nursing about every two hours during the day-- except when we were out and about, when he'd easily wait up to four hours without falling apart. His nap schedule at the time consisted of three fairly predictable naps-- one or two hours each-- for which he went into bed happily, awake and freshly fed, and fell asleep with no crying at all. Same at bedtime. He would then sleep solidly from 7:00 or 7:30 till after midnight. Between midnight and 7:00 am he'd wake three or four times. Maybe only two, but usually more. This got to be a drag. Literally, a drag. As in, drag my hiney around the house all day with my eyelids propped up on toothpicks.
So with all the strong recommendations, I decided to give Babywise the ol' college try. The main difference between Ezzo'z plan and what we were already doing was the eat-play-nap thing and a four-hour nursing schedule. So I made it my goal to work on those two things.
As an aside, one thing I dislike about the book (which has nothing to do with the effectiveness of the method) is that Mr Ezzo virtually guarantees that if you follow his method, your child WILL sleep through the night. No ifs, ands or buts. This claim seems a little disingenuous to me.
We jumped in and began to make some changes. I put him down for naps without nursing, I offered the breast when he woke each time. And all hell broke loose. Well, I mean that in a metaphorical sense. What has actually happened is that over the course of our experiment, Jamie has gradually quit nursing during the day pretty much altogether. At the worst (which was about two days ago) he only had ONE feeding in the entire day that lasted longer than a minute. He was just too interested in things going on around him, and since we weren't even trying to nurse when he was calm and sleepy (right before bed), he just wasn't interested in nursing at all.
Now, James is a twenty-pound chunk-of-a-monkey, so you might imagine what happened to counter-balance this hunger strike. Why yes! How did you guess? He simply ate at night. His early night-time five or six hour chunk of sleep is now broken up into two more feedings, which brings the night's grand total to FIVE. Yes. He goes to sleep at 7 or 7:30 and now wakes to nurse FIVE or SIX times before morning. He didn't nurse this much at night as a newborn.
Lauren, I thought of you. Didn't Chloe do this to you for a while?
Yesterday, in tears over another half day of no nursing, I threw in the towel. I began offering the breast before and after naps. Today went a little better. He got three or four good feeds in. He's in bed now, going on two hours and my fingers are crossed...
So. While I have no doubt that manymany women implement the strategies in Babywise and have great success, it was a consummate failure for us.
I do still plan to address some of the other things about the book itself (not the method) that rubbed me the wrong way... maybe in a day or two.
Update: James just woke up- two hours to the minute since going down, but I was able to replace the binky, pat him a little and he went back to sleep.