Saturday, August 7, 2010


I wrote this the next morning after the previous post, but neglected to edit and post till today... My apologies to those of you worried about my metal state between then and now :)

Thank you, all of you, on Facebook and here on the blog, for your words of encouragement yesterday. I feel so much better this morning. Not because anything circumstantially changed since yesterday morning, but because I've got my joy back. And things are a little more in perspective today. And probably also because I slept better last night :) And was able to schedule some house showing for this weekend.

We had a good time last night. Turns out I did have something decent and wearable in my closet after all :) Although at this point, really, nothing is going to combat the basketball on two sticks look I've got going on. But I had new earrings! And we laughed a lot. It was a little intimidating. I will always feel intimidated in a room full of highly educated people. But we still enjoyed ourselves.

Judah did NOT cry for the babysitter, so that's always good. It's pretty much a crapshoot with him. About half the time he's fine and the other half he pitches a fit.

I do so much feel the absence of a "nest", as many of you mentioned. It's a hard time to be transient for simple biological reasons, forget everything else. But somehow I've got to find my home, my rest, in the Lord and in my family, instead of in the physical circumstances in which I find myself. I'll be working on that... It will certainly be a challenge for me. I depend so much on the familiarity of my surroundings during labor and postpartum.

I still miss my friends and my old home terribly, but I have never for a moment regretted our decision to come here. As a matter of fact, despite my lowest moments, every interaction we have with Geneva's people (and the people at the several churches we've attended) has re-affirmed for us God's will in this direction. There is something rich in the interactions amongst leadership and faculty at this school, that (despite the intimidation of the sheer weight of knowledge) has excited me about J's future here. I hope I get a chance to share with some of you some stories...

It occurred to me as I started to write this morning that this is my first pregnancy I've blogged. I started this blog when Judah was a few months old, so you've all "met" the post-partum Me. But the pregnant me? This is new territory for this old blog :) Well, now you know. Mood swings are a regular part of my day.


Hosanna said...

You are totally entitled to a little vent, or complete emotional breakdown, every now and then. :) Glad you are feeling better; but still wishing I was nearer by. Hey.... Mom said all you had to do was say the word and she was THERE. So. Just thought I'd pass that along.

septembermom said...

I can feel how you are growing stronger as you share these feelings with yourself and others. I hope you feel better each day :)