I hate jogging.
I hate jogging with a passion most reserve for the Other Political Party and the neighbor's loud parties on weekends.
I hate jogging with a steadfastness akin to the faithfulness of a swan couple, which (as you know) mates for life.
However. I enjoy my health. And it seems that simply jogging a two mile route through the downtown is going to be the easiest and most dependable way for me to get exercise this summer. Therefore I have undertaken a nightly jogging routine. And I hate it.
But I have discovered that the secret to continuing this routine, despite the hatred is one borrowed from the pig farmer. Here is the conversation that goes on in my head every night after dinner:
the Jogging-Hating Me: I'm so tired tonight. I just don't know how I'm going to jog this time. I think I may just have to call it off. I'll go in the morning.
the Healthy Me: (thinking fast, and not falling for that old "I'll do it in the morning" routine) Oh, but think how much better you'll feel in the morning if you go!
the JHM: But I'm just so tired.... and I did do a lot of gardening this morning. I don't really even need to jog...
the HM: (remembers the pig farmer and changes tactics) Yeah, you're right, that's true. You've probably already burned off, like, nine thousand calories anyways...
the JHM: well, I doubt quite that much.
the HM: But still it's better not to over-do it.
the JHM: well, maybe I"ll just walk for a little while...
the HM: how about around the block?
the JHM: Maybe I'll jog half and walk half...
the HM: well, don't push yourself too hard. How about just go one mile?
the JHM: I'll jog one mile and walk/jog the other half.
the HM: are you sure you feel up to it?
the JHM: (starts warming up with some jumping-jacks) I might even jog the whole thing, maybe try to add another half-mile, maybe I'll add on some weights, or do some back-flips in there...
the HM: But think of the blisters!
the JHM: (begins belting out the theme from "Rocky" as she sprints down the block)
the HM: (quietly hums the "Hallelujah Chorus")