Tuesday, March 9, 2010

My first thoughts: Written in Late January

Last night we had a storm. It poured buckets all night long. It rained like tears of a woman losing her only child. The sound of the storm was like unrestrained weeping and sobs. This morning, the ground is soaked, a small stream runs in the street along the edge of the sidewalk. But the sun has slowly, over the last few hours, broken out from behind the straggling clouds. A bit watery, but strengthening to a brilliant promise of hope. The faintest scent and touch of springtime keeps teasing the senses and the children are laughing the laughter of the newly pardoned and released.

In the last five years, the Lord has been working on my heart. He tested my faith in ways I never thought I would experience. He gave and He took away-- both the Physical and the Spiritual. All the while, drawing my heart closer and closer to His. All the while providing for our every need. All the while building on the foundation of J's and my relationship. A foundation He laid years ago. Over these years, God completely re-arranged my ideas about what our family would look like. And only recently, had I come to be truly at peace with what seemed to be His Will.

And then last night, we saw this:


And all night long a storm was raging as we questioned everything we'd (again) come to expect of our lives, our family, our future. And again the Lord had something different in mind than we thought. (at some point, surely, we will learn not to second-guess Him...)

But, this morning, the sun has broken through the straggling clouds. J says, this is life. It's unexpected. It's a little scary. It's unpredictable. But, in the end, it's beautiful.

And at the end of the storm, the Lord again sent us His promise of Peace.

(our neighborhood, from our front porch)


Hosanna said...

*wipes away tears* This is very appropriate for me today as I struggle with crushing grief......

Jenny said...

Learning the lesson of "go with God's flow" is tougher for some that others. Now see, me, I never plan anything long term -- all that talk of long term goals, I've always scoffed at;) And God has turned my life topsy turvy on many occasions! I prefer to sit back and enjoy the ride -- as you will now. "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart" -- sometimes He has to teach us to truly delight in Him before He can give us the desires of our heart, or those gifts could end up rising above our relationship with Him. Learning priorities is one of the hardest lessons for me -- especially in this world we live in where I get so distracted and so focused on someTHING, whatever that may be.
I know it's been a tough road for you -- really tough, and I'm not sure how I would have handled all that either. It's so strengthening to know that God KNOWS us and LOVES us and UNDERSTANDS us and sees the full picture of our lives and beyond.
We love you guys and will be continuing to pray for you! Sharing your joy as you journey the road:)

Herb of Grace said...

Hos, I'm so sorry... :( Wish I could be there...

Jen, thanks :)

Rebecca said...

Beautiful. :)