Meditating

I've been feeling myself stretched thinner and thinner lately by all the demands of projects, businesses, school, children, friends and family in need and in pain and the daily work of house and home. Sometimes I get a mental picture of myself as a spider with many legs being pulled in all different directions.

And then other night I was reading 2 Corinthians 3:6 and the Lord brought to mind our pastor's words recently. We're studying the Gospel of John and looking at the idea of "the Now and the Not Yet" (a popular idea at Christ Pres and Cov Pres and something we hear about regularly). He mentioned that we ought to be more conscious of Eternity-- our Everlasting Life with Christ-- in our daily lives. That is, Eternity starts Now. It's not some far away thing that we will eventually attain. It means Now, and then on and on forever. This can change the way you think about every day. How important is it really to get to the grocery store by ten if today really is just one day in Eternity? Think about it for a minute....

As I meditated on this concept I began to see that mental image of me; the tortured spider, morph into a bubbling spring with eternal streams of water running in all directions, and I remembered the words of that old camp song:

I've got a river of life, flowing out of me,
Makes the lame to walk and the blind to see;
Opens prison doors, sets the captives free,
I've got a river of life, flowing out of me.

Spring up, O well, within my soul;
Spring up, O well, and make me whole;
Spring up, O well, and give to me
That life abundantly.

It occurred to me that part of Faith is admitting that you cannot do it on your own, but you CAN do it in the strength of the Lord (as Jen talks about here). So the anguish and stress of my "over-busy" life is somewhat brought about by my own resistance to the busy-ness. Kicking against the goad, so to speak. The spider desperately pulling inward in self-preservation, setting boundaries that fence out those who need my help and listening ear, saying no when I should say I'll do what I can.

And that's been a key part of my meditation lately, realizing that my instincts of self-preservation can keep me from willingly and joyfully fulfilling my role as a servant in my home, my church and my community. Because if the Lord puts someone or something in my life, He will provide the resources needed for me to reach out to that person or situation. It's just a matter of me turning to Him, tapping into that River of Life and being willing to let the water flow out.

And that water flowing will make me whole.

Linking in to the I Am Blissfully Domestic link-a-thon :) Check out the others here.